Thursday 13- Thirteen Reasons I resisted my birthday ( tongue in cheek )

****Today is my 70th birthday - a miracle as I've been dancing with cancer for 11 years and my husband passed after 2 months. We were diagnosed the same time Sept 2002 . He lasted 2 months . It took a lot from me , I no longer can drive far, fall asleep even just at home, cannot swallow much food, lost teeth , hair , eyesight (good(- job get sick often--but my sense of humor and faith are strongly in tact. I'm always looking for new adventures, though my financial road is very hard..For some strange reason this number 70 I did not want to come ??why ?? odd- really 

1- I think 2014 sounds like a magical year and number  could that be it ??Wait .no 2013  let's do it next year.!!

2- I had hopes for some other celebrations and life choices no longer affordable or physically feasible

3-I can't go back to the age 60's  decade which FLEW by !!!!!!!!!!!

4- I get somewhat embarrassed when people make a fuss, as I'm sure the loudspeaker will blare at  swim meet tonight .(I've nixed a party )

5-I wanted to do something  just for ME,,but financially just cannot - goes to bills

6-It's all so fast , so very fast and I am and always have been a live in the moment person- I just can't slow it down.

7- I'm a little scared after last year's birthday . A favorite student died the day before and I was too weak to even walk in the hospital door where I spent last year's birthday and all money ...

8- My family is away and that hurts. 

9- I had hoped to make a little progress on repairs on my home but overwhelming and I just must settle as droves of people have come by for weeks.

10  A favorite student is succumbing to dmd and I made a video for him. I want to hold him forever.(I guess secretly I know there may not be a next year for him or many others really)

11- ?Who the heck is that person in my mirror??

12-It costs too much to have a birthday - need new license $55.25, glasses  and exam $250.00 , new tag $90.00  Geez.

13- There is a big mistake , I'm only 16 !!