Thursday 13- Do not take offense These are sick jokes mostly South that come out at this football season - good natured but sort of funny-mean - do not be offended I'm not and I'm from Wva.

1Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________

2Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? 

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________ 

3What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? 

Drool.
___________________________________________ 

4How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? 

None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________ 

5How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? 

The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________ 

6Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. 

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." 

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________ 

7A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. 

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. 

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ 

8What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________ 

9If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
___________________________________________ 

10How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________ 

11What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________ 

12University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;

the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________ 

13How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? 

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________ 

 Bonus

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________ 

 BONUSES!!!

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________ 

What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?

Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

All 4 of my teams covered!!